Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Making It Up As I Go: The Art of Creating, etc.

I've been freelancing for 3 years now, and I still don't know everything about design and business. As a matter of fact, I don't know that much and I'm probably just making it up as I go. I've made mistakes - and still do - but I think it's my best way to learn. I look back and I'm amazed by the process, by what I've accomplished so far, by the people I've connected with. And quite honestly, I can't explain it most of the time.

Something surreal happens when you combine being human and creating. It's as if for a moment, you find yourself in this place that feels perfect and whole, a place that is fully alive. It feels like the core of your being, like it had been there all along. There is purpose, and for a moment, it is the only thing that feels real. It's your very own place, a place that only you can find. And to me, that's magical.

I've been wanting to share a few of my experiences with freelancing and creating for a while now, perhaps a few tips here and there, but never really knew where to start. I don't know if I want to write a few posts about it or just one. So, I'm going to start with a few general tips/notes for anyone wanting to start or continue creating.

- If there is something you'd like to try, try it. Don't hold back because you "don't know". There is no "perfect" or "imperfect" way to create.

- Don't force something that doesn't seem to work. If something doesn't click, try something else. Use a different medium. It's okay to change your mind, even after having done something the same way for years.

- If you make a mistake, don't be quick to throw it away. Keep it, and look at it again a few days/weeks later. Sometimes, I'll hate something I made, but with fresh eyes, come to like it a week later. And in some cases, it's the "mistake" that becomes the trademark, the very thing that intrigues.

- When you find that place, so whole and alive, and you choose to act according to it, creating becomes less scary. There is a great sense of freedom. Whether it be found in words, or music, or design, etc. Comparison doesn't feel necessary anymore. The more time you spend in that place, the more courageous you become. And what you create starts to look that way, too.

- Know that what comes from the core of you is unique and important.


I hope these words can give you a little more courage to create. Feel free to e-mail me questions about freelancing, design, or creating in general, and I'll try to answer them somehow in my next (possible) post. x

Thursday, January 8, 2015

You will become.

It's 2015 and 2015 makes me nervous.
Maybe it's the number, or maybe it's the "future", or perhaps the "I'm turning 25". Maybe it's the e-mails I have to respond to or the fact that I feel comfortable enough to go on a plane alone anywhere in the world. Maybe it's the strangers becoming friends, the people I miss and will continue to miss, maybe it's the feelings, the caring that I can't let go and maybe that scares me.
Maybe it's change. And decisions. And growing up.

It was 2014 and 2014 broke me.
I lived in another city for two months, because I missed the ocean and I missed my friends. I cried out of joy, and I cried out of hurt. And then I couldn't cry anymore. I felt like a fool, but I also felt cared for. I designed a shirt for the organization I bought every shirt from during my high school years. I moved, again. I discovered L.A. streets and tacos and horchata, and got stuck in a sand storm. I wrote, recorded, and co-produced a song with my sister, and we released it as our first single. I held on tightly, and struggled to let go. I let go. I watched my best friend marry the man she loves. I reminisced our friendship that day. It was beautiful, and I was so happy for you. I held my breath. I held back tears. I let myself grow up. I felt everything that love was. Both heavy and light. I went back to the city that felt that way, too. Heavy. And light. The one that held you and watched you go, breaking my heart and healing it, too. I questioned, I looked ahead, and I looked back. I felt whole, and I felt alone. I let you in and I let you out. I feared and hoped and took courage.

2014 broke me, and I am grateful.
I let myself feel pain and joy and anger and forgiveness.
I let myself be fragile and strong. I let myself be right, and wrong.
I let myself be human.

It's 2015 and 2015 makes me nervous.
And that's okay.
I'm learning, still.

"You will become," You tell me.
"You will become."