Tuesday, April 5, 2011

first year of university.

hello my dear friends,

i do apologize for the lack of posts.
the school year is almost complete, which means i will be posting more (hence why this post).

i have many thoughts to share with you tonight, and i hope these can spark conversation among you or create new thoughts for you to chew on.

i've definitely been learning a lot while being in art university for the first time.
the mindsets, the motives, the fears, the strengths, and the world of art.

i jumped into the unknown, and learned how to swim.
(trust me, it wasn't easy)

i was afraid to drown; i was afraid i would fade away from who i was meant to be
to become someone i was not.

i found myself comparing my works with the works of others.
i labeled the work i created "not good."

and it is then that i lost myself.
i lost sight of who i was created to be, what was within me, and why it was there.

it was like breathing the air of someone else,
and forgetting what i looked like.

my mind was full of questions and attacks,
telling me i was not good enough.
that the very core of who i was had nothing to offer.
that i was "not good."

and then He spoke.
and reminded me i'm important.
and reminded me i had purpose.
He told me that what is within me is from Him,
and therefore, it is "good."
He told me i am worth more than the stars,
and the creativity inside of me is gold.
He reminded me that the world needs me.
that there is a creativity beyond the ordinary inside of me,
and the world is in need of it.

and my soul was put to rest.
my mind slowed down.
my heart began to breathe.
again.

and this was only a few weeks ago.

i'm glad to say that i am beginning to feel alive (again).
or maybe, like Spring, i am simply being made new.

do not lose yourself amidst the copies of copies.
do not compare yourself, for what is within you is unique and important.
fight through the discouragement, and stand firm.
the world needs you.

i found myself...finding myself once again.
the months to come will be challenging, but exciting.

i will be posting more, and therefore my heart will be more visible for you all to see through.

thank you for reading.
goodnight.

- melody.