Tuesday, July 28, 2009
beside music, there are a few new additions to my life.
how about the letters J, O, and B.
put together produces the word "job". probably the most pronounced word in my life these past ffew days. ha - no joke.
i am now a permanent inhabitant of the land of the Canadians. pretty crazy, eh?
and along with the package comes the open door to getting employed.
well...quite honestly, i'm looking forward to working - somewhere i like.
i know, i shouldn't be picky and i should accept anything that comes up, but i'm quite the "pickious" person.
i want to be able to work somewhere i enjoy, around material that brings me joy, doing something my heart is in also.
i will be updating you on my hunt for a job, i suppose. :)
another addition to my life is the challenge God has put on my heart:
let me tell you, he's most definitely teaching me a lot of tough stuff on judging and how i've been wrong for most of my life.
a lot of times, people assume Christianity is automatically associated with judgement.
why? - because we have misrepresented Christ all this time.
we point fingers, look for all the wrong in a person, and hunt for the smallest reason to justify their need for salvation. when all this time, we're the ones with the junkiest hearts and the most need for a fix-up.
i am so guilty of this. and i apologize for anyone victim of my crime.
perhaps some of us have forgotten we are all sinners. guilty of having broken God's heart. no matter what we've done, we've done something wrong.
and in God's eyes, a stain is a stain, no matter how large.
this is the very reason Jesus has come on our earth - to fix us up. to clean the stain. to pay the price to keep us from "going to jail". because we are guilty. and God loves us so, so, so, so much that he had to bring us a saviour. (quite honestly the most beautiful love story ever written and lived - the love story between us and our creator)
and we, christians, maybe misunderstood and thought we were given the role of God.
well, big wake up call: there is only One judgement day.
meaning, God is not even judging at this very moment...not one bit. not until the big day.
so who are we to judge?! when even our own Loving judge isn't even in business yet.
he's in redemption mode, as kris vallotton states...longing to see his beloved sons and daughters home again. and here we are, fighting against each other on whether or not we should befriend the homosexuals, if we should hangout with drug addicts, and if it is right for a christian to be seen in bars or nightclubs.
an image - food for thought. read the caption.
i think it's time to re-check ourselves. something paul kept telling us to do.
"evaluate yourself." - yes, sir.
the biggest problem is not the prostitute or the man with the tattoos and piercings - it's me - and until i deal with it, it will keep being me.
i'm terribly sorry if i caused you pain for having judged you. or simply, to have placed a wrong label in my head about you.
and i apologize for anyone claiming to be like Jesus and has judged you.
i really am sorry.
Jesus never judged. he's not to blame.
i love you. i love you and i love you. and that is what i am meant to do. to be. a lover. created for love and to love. representing my beautiful and full-of-love God.
this is my thought for today - of course, i will be posting more.
this must be talked about - and i'm ready to expose whatever must be put in the light.
i love you.
Monday, July 20, 2009
it's a good time for a break - even in blogging. ha!
i feel like writing in a choppy way today. so i will.
so updates on this season:
- i'm going to probably become a professional model for a while in september. just to bring the kingdom in the industry. ;)
- i found a polaroid camera in my garage. i just need film.
- i just fell in love with Bethel in Redding, California all over again. (www.ibethel.org)
along with healing people, and bringing the kingdom in the most unexpected places. (disneyland?) yeah look it up. "healing revival in Disneyland" on youtube.
- i'm going to camp freshwind - as LIT. super sweetness!
- i miss my best friend. but she's blasting and being blasted by the Holy Spirit. so it's all good.
- "the kingdom is not of talk, but of power." LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH.
- bring it on, august. vacation time soon!
- i love you all.