Monday, December 28, 2009

two thousand nine, it's been fun.


2009 is almost over.

just a few days to go.
3 actually.

...and i'm super super excited for 2010.

i say goodbye to...
- memories of grade 12
- high school friendships
- freshwind 09!
- turning 19
- creating a yearbook
- a brunch with amanda on a summer morning
- trying prophetic art for the first time
- NYC/PA/MA summer trips
- falling in love with fashion; especially heels
- showing pictures of myself to agents for the first time
- having a professional photoshoot for the first time
- seeing emily young every day
- re-encounter
- amanda heppner
- freshwind camp 09
- family visiting for the first time
- discovering toronto
- church families
- youth pastors
- cozy holiday spirit
- heavy rain 2009...

...and that is just a grain into the year...

i have goals for the new year:
- read more books; readreadread!
- make more art that my spirit feels like doing - without fear.
- actually work on writing a book
- do more professional photoshoots
- save up at least $5, 0000 for school

...and those are just a few...

God has done some pretty fantastic and mind blowing things this year;
i'm just excited to see what he's going to do next with 2010 -
as we get closer and closer to Jesus coming back... ;)

enter the new year with high expectations, big dreams, and don't fear ONE BIT to go after the desires of your heart. be like a child and have fun!

much love,
-melody.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

"to us a Son is born..."


...Christmas 2009 is here...

as i remember the whole birth story of Jesus, i am torn by the story we share today...

"shop!shop!shop!"
"LIGHTS! CHRISTMAS TREES! CHOCOLATES!"
"ahh i must get those gifts on time!"

how glad i am that the purpose of christmas does not revolve around this...
how boring would it be!

how glad i am that christmas is about Christ.
...how humble i am to know that the King of the universe, the breather of creation, the all-powerful chose to take part of earth and live as one of us.
just so that on the night you are falling apart, the day your heart gets broken, the morning you feel like life has no purpose - he can relate.

just so he can understand.

born in a basket of straw, among the animals, and without a home...
to us a child is born - to us a King is born...

let this day be a warm reminder that Jesus our saviour made the choice to be among us...
"God with us", Emmanuel, son of Man...

it's okay, friend, everything will be alright...

merry christmas to all...
-melody.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

what happens when the soul gets messy...


Blog: "Well, i haven't seen you in a while..."
Me: "yeah, i know eh!?"

this would be a conversation between my blog and i...if it were real.
...yeah...

so a lot has been happening this month - not to mention we are DECEMBER 17 - just about a week away from christmas.
talk about craziness.

it's so hard talking about 108283 different topics in one post; i usually like to focus on one thing.
but i guess this one will be a tad different...

first of all, schooling for me next year is set. yes - i have been accepted into OCAD without having applied yet. God most definitely works in mysterious ways, and when you trust, he honors : )

...words i should believe myself...hm.
trust has most definitely been the theme of this month - if not year.
...if not life.

but what i mean is - trusting God and what that means has been something i've been challenged with this month...and i've been finding out (in a matter of days) that if my hope is not fully in God, i will be let down.

it's so easy to put our hope in people, in relationships, in dreams, and goals...
but the result will somehow crumble down, because the foundation is not stable.

...i've come to realize i try to avoid getting too close to my soul (heart/feelingss and thoughts) because it just scares me to get messy with it; to explore it and bring it into the light; to expose it and find myself with no solutions to the mess.

this may make total sense, or i might just not be making much sense at all...but one thing i do know is we all face steps in our journeys we don't know how to reach, or rocks we stumble on and need help getting up from.
i do know that we all have desires in our hearts that some we honestly don't know what to do with - they may seem impossible or just not right - and we find ourselves battling alone.
i know for sure that each and one of us come to points where decisions need to be made where the roads split either to freedom or to enslavement.

and sometimes (or always), it appears we are walking alone.
but Daddy wants me to remind you - as he is reminding me - he is our first and true love.
he is to be our everything. in whom our full hope is in.
he wants you to know that he has never let go of your hand; since you were born.
and at this very moment, your hand is tightly in his.

he's taking care of you, child...as he is taking care of me. it's something we need to live each day by. reminding ourselves that all things happen for our good.
Daddy knows it all - and we don't.
he is to be trusted, completely.

in the next few days, i will be writing about christmas, as it is so quickly approaching...
otherwise, the job is well. the snow has fallen. the friends are marvellous. the heart is fragile.
switchfoot - jan 22. sketch volunteering to be talked about. church ministry. and speaking gig.

all in all, i am still learning to breathe...

i dearly love you all - every single one of you. you are precious.

melody.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Lover in need of a lover...

i've been pondering about this for a while now, and the more i get into it, the more my mind becomes amazed.

the fact that we as humans did not need God first - God first needed us. and still does.

wow.

just let that sink in for a bit - or longer...

isn't that just the most mind-blowing, crazy, most love-filled fact you've ever heard!?
it probably is for me.

we go around living our crazy lives, thinking that we are wasting God's time with our 'needy' prayers; we go on thinking these lies that God doesn't have much time for us.

when in fact, God - the creator of the complex design of tree trunks and green leaves - has a need for us.
he created EVERYTHING around us....

...just for us.
...as a man would prepare his beautiful gift for the love of his life....
God prepared the earth for the love of his life - ...us.

i once asked God why he created us. why he had the urge, all of a sudden, to create breathing creatures so interesting as us.
you know what he replied?

"it was love."

because he is love, he needed to pour it out...he needed to share love, and in order to share love, there needs a recipient who can pour it into him as well...
and so he needed us.

it's almost like he needs us to be. just like we need him to be.
you see, that's relationship.
it needs to go two ways.

and it just brings me to such awe that God first needed us.

that all this time, people have thought that we are just a pile of 'things' who just happened to need a 'big boss', and that this 'Boss' doesn't have much interest in us. i mean, he's somewhere up there in the skies, so how could he possibly care that much about us?

...'child, it is because i first loved you...that you are able to love...at all.'

...ugh, God, you just wreck me...

and it is then, that i realize, God is not some 'Big Boss in the sky' - he's a Lover
in need of a Lover.

he's actually in love with his creation; his need.

and that's all it takes to completely change someone's life.
the realization that God is in love - completely - with you...


- melody.

ps. God is so good. the job is going well, and my hours have been good so far. :)
pps. got favor to book off all 3 days for heavy rain from work...so good.
ppps. christmas is in the air...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

where the wild things are...there is wilderness.


So, this is my personal review of the movie "Where The Wild Things Are".
in case you don't know, there's this movie out...and it's based on a children's book (which by the way, i have not read).
you may have seen the trailer, and thought "what's this?"

...well after the movie, your question may have been answered...
or perhaps not.

i watched it last night with my lovely friends and sister. and i must say, what a movie!
we were surrounded by kids, and their mothers and fathers.

now, i was aware that the movie was quite complicated to understand and had many deep and hidden themes. but i didn't expect that...

it was perhaps one of the most imaginative and deep movies i have seen!
you know when the message is not spoken at all and the plot is very "blurry" and incomprehensible?
that's when you know there's a lot of digging to do...
and that's when you either love it or hate it.

the film focuses on a boy, Max, who, at home, gets very little attention (or at least lacks the attention he really wants) and holds in a lot of anger because of it.
he runs away and finds himself in a forest.

this is where the wild things are.
creatures, that is, bigger than max. much bigger.

and each of them hold in pain. have their struggle. carry burden.
like Max.

...Max becomes king of these. almost, perhaps, king of these burdens as well?
hmm...

each 'wild thing' is either angry, lonely, afraid, jealous, ashamed, or feeling worthless. (i'm sure you can dig out some more...)
all of what Max feels.
so perhaps, these 'wild things' are just a reflection of who he is...? hmm...
and the kingdom he "owns" is just life itself. along with its mess, its complications, its twists-and-turns...

and my personal interpretation - ...a life without God. without True love.
Max tries his best to keep sadness away from the 'family'. he tries his best to create a perfect world. he tries his best, but his best is not enough.
the creatures are still broken inside. they are still lonely and not united. incomplete.

in each of us is something wild.
emotions are wild. messy. raw.

and even messier when shared with someone else.
relationships are messy. and i think that's a biggie in the movie!

cling!cling!cling! theme.

so, my conclusion, God loves messy. he wants to clean us up. he's needy too.
and the only way to keep sadness away, is to accept Love.
the unloved must be loved to remove the fears, the loneliness, and the pain.

so, i hope you find the beauty i found in this very interesting movie...
and remember that where the wild things are, love is needed.

- melody.


ps. i wouldn't really recommend this for children; i mean...perhaps children get this more than we do. but the 'feel' in the movie doesn't seem to be appropriate for small kids.
pps. the soundtrack and photography in this film is brilliant! truly beautiful.

Monday, November 2, 2009

how lovely are Your plans.

I will make this quick - as i am verrryy tired and have an important day tomorrow.

i have been looking for a job for a while and have just recently been hired by Chapters.
this was perfect timing - and the job i really wanted.

God has a way of knowing our small desires - he knows when, what, how, who, where...
even the desires unknown to us, he knows before hand.

i will be starting tomorrow. and i know that God has got me from the beginning - he will take care of me, help me, fill me with joy, and bring favor to me in this new position...and i'm quite excited :)

i know that some of you are doubting God or you think what he's got planned for you is boring and "lame".
and let me tell you, he's got the most beautiful and most amazing plans for you - perfectly prepared.
he knows you.
...he really does...
and he knows you are strong and courageous, and whatever he places you in is to see you shine...

he is 100% in love with you, and everything coming of him is through this love.

so do something out of the ordinary and trust Him. trust God with your job, with your school, with your relationships, with yourself, with your health, with your life...

it's 100% worth it.

...don't pay attention to your circumstance or situation, because with God all things are possible...

love you all.
-melody.

Monday, October 26, 2009

i'm growing up just to be a child again.

Besides the fact that i have not blogged here in a while, i have been thinking a lot about what living really means.

i was thinking back to adam and eve. before they messed up, and afterwards.
i pondered about what it would be like in the perfect world - how they were with each other, how they behaved, walked, talked, loved...

i mean, God created adam and eve perfectly. and i just can't seem to grasp what that means...
...but i may understand a little better (just a tad) now...

it came to me while listening to a song on the "Where The Wild Things Are" soundtrack...



they were like children.

living without shame, careless, in love with every little thing, easily amazed, and completely trusting God. i mean, they could physically see God...walking side by side with him...

WHAA!?

only the spirit of a child can be so trusting...the kind of spirit undamaged and unhurt...

and the deeper i thought, the more amazed and shocked and speechless i became.
so, if i get it correctly, as deception creeped in, doubt entered in, and as the sin became existent...
adam and eve "ate" knowledge.

this is where it all became clear...

they became adult-like.

all of a sudden, they realized they were naked, were ashamed, and afraid.
it is then, that God was no longer so tangible...

i'm not saying that being an adult is a sin, ha - of course not.
but i do believe that the heart was and is created to be a child, always.

that's the way God intended us - to be a child, perfectly.

and that's the way we are to be...

in this conversation, God revealed to me a piece of Jesus i didn't know before -
his sacrifice was to reconciliate his brothers and sisters (us) to Daddy God.
i didn't really understand "reconciliation"...until now.

he became the bridge to the child spirit.
he became the bridge to true freedom. to dance. to sing. to be joyful always. to trust fully.
...and to walk once again, side by side.

i've now realized the goal to living; the new way of being human: be a child.
be courageous! dream big. don't fear. live freely. live in love and amazed by all.
live...side by side with Your Daddy.

after all, Jesus did say, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Luke 18:16-17
i'm growing up just to be a child again...
...melody.

ps. ...the song i mentioned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAfcBwYuNDU
Karen O and the Kids "All Is Love"

Friday, October 2, 2009

What is faith?

...Like, what is it?

i mean, it's a word we use over and over again...
"Just have faith."
"Where's your faith?"
"Have faith in yourself..."


so really, there must be something quite profound about 'faith' if we are so eager to express it.
might we have misused it, perhaps?
is it another one of those "i love you"s without really knowing what it means?

in my journey of 'living', i'm discovering more and more the meaning of 'faith'.
it's challenging. it's effort-demanding. it's...beyond natural.

if faith is supernatural, it is beyond natural; therefore the only best source i have is God himself - the "beyond natural" being. (and this goes for really anything supernatural - love, hope, life, etc)
now, most of my answers i find in the Bible - best book of life for life - because that's where God talks most in.

there, i find the following:
"let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith..." = ahhh...that's where faith comes from! (Heb. 12:2)
...which means...
"now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." = there we go. definition right there. (Heb. 11:1)
...so...

faith = certainty; 100%

but no worries, because we are not perfect, therefore at times it is hard to be faithful 100%.
that is why Jesus is the perfector.
he is willing to help us in faith. (hurrah! we are not alone in this...)
the Holy Spirit is willing to help us grow our faith.

faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit.
it takes time to "increase" and grow.

anyways, if you are going to take anything out of this post, it's that faith's source is God - and if we lack it, ask him for more. and having faith is trusting in something not currently happening.

so, need a situation in your life to change?
need a job?
need breakthrough?
have sickness?

no problem.
just believe that what ever you want has already come through and happened. :)

i know, it's not easy...but hey! we have the best supporter = Jesus.

melody.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"...i've got you, my baby..."

...it's late, and i'm tired...but i felt the need to share this link/song.

i trust You, Daddy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_NJy8H7t4Q
"Trust" by Kristene Mueller.

love,
-melody.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Fall-in' for You.

...dot dot dot.

SEPTEMBER!? already? wow.
a new season is ahead - as we leave behind a dearly loved one.


i have been to the states, to camp, said goodbye (temporarily) to friends and leaders, and been to several modelling agency interviews - all with the same result.

overall, this was a good summer. i don't think it would be fair to state a summer as 'bad' based only on the negatives.
i was alive, i soaked in the sun, i hungout with wonderful friends, spent time with family, etc, etc, etc.

therefore, thank you summer 2009 for bringing me joy.
now, i slowly say hello to fall - as he peeks right through.

to tell you the truth, i'm quite looking forward to the future. i mean yes, it's unknown.
but hey! if it weren't, the excitement would not be there. and i'm all for excitement.

i have an entire year to myself - just trusting God every step of the way.

sometimes, it's not as easy as it may seem...but there is beauty in struggle.
and struggle does not keep me from taking action.
faith cannot be without action.
i act in faith. i walk in faith. i breathe in faith.
believing that God provides. that God is all-powerful. that God is God - who he says he is.

and i'll know that if i stuggle while trusting, the enemy is out to get me - for he knows my faith is powerful. and i'll know to keep trusting and to keep perservering.

all in all, to reward me.

so, i say goodbye to summer and hello to a new season - the season of trusting.


thank you camp freshwind for making me stronger. and thank you campers and counsellors and friends for just being so amazing. for changing my life.
you all take part somehow.

i love you all.
-melody.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

goodbye canada, hello usa road-trip.

Tomorrow morning, the family (including me) will be going off to our "summer vacation".
this is the time of the year - of the season - in which the family gets together for a break.
(ha - describing "vacation" is not as easy as it seems.)

our trip includes 1 day at kingdom bound, pennsylvania, nyc, and boston.
fun? yes!

so i'm looking forward to it - a getaway from the house is well needed.
i've been feeling almost trapped within myself here, enslaved to unwanted thoughts, laziness, and boredom.

but i guess the 'trapped-within-myself' part is something i can't physically get away from.
it's an inner decision which i have yet to make.

this summer so far has been...instructional if i can say so.
God has been teaching me on judgement (which part 2 will come soon), faith, trust, mysteries, life, death, ...and any other topic the new testament touches on (as i have been reading it all this summer in goal to reach revelation in september).

and now, it is time to learn about ... rest.
ah...yes. rest.
i just need to know how to truly rest. worry about nothing. feel and be at peace with the world, myself, and the future.
how exciting. (really)

well, i am off to 'rest' and sleep these 6 hours before waking again.


much love to all my readers.
-melody.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"I like to make myself believe that Planet Earth turns slowly." - Owl City

May i just say that owl city's new album is pretty magical? - i love it.

beside music, there are a few new additions to my life.
how about the letters J, O, and B.
put together produces the word "job". probably the most pronounced word in my life these past ffew days. ha - no joke.
i am now a permanent inhabitant of the land of the Canadians. pretty crazy, eh?
and along with the package comes the open door to getting employed.
oh! joy!

well...quite honestly, i'm looking forward to working - somewhere i like.
i know, i shouldn't be picky and i should accept anything that comes up, but i'm quite the "pickious" person.
i want to be able to work somewhere i enjoy, around material that brings me joy, doing something my heart is in also.
i will be updating you on my hunt for a job, i suppose. :)

another addition to my life is the challenge God has put on my heart:
no judging.

let me tell you, he's most definitely teaching me a lot of tough stuff on judging and how i've been wrong for most of my life.
a lot of times, people assume Christianity is automatically associated with judgement.
why? - because we have misrepresented Christ all this time.
we point fingers, look for all the wrong in a person, and hunt for the smallest reason to justify their need for salvation. when all this time, we're the ones with the junkiest hearts and the most need for a fix-up.
i am so guilty of this. and i apologize for anyone victim of my crime.

perhaps some of us have forgotten we are all sinners. guilty of having broken God's heart. no matter what we've done, we've done something wrong.
and in God's eyes, a stain is a stain, no matter how large.

this is the very reason Jesus has come on our earth - to fix us up. to clean the stain. to pay the price to keep us from "going to jail". because we are guilty. and God loves us so, so, so, so much that he had to bring us a saviour. (quite honestly the most beautiful love story ever written and lived - the love story between us and our creator)
and we, christians, maybe misunderstood and thought we were given the role of God.

well, big wake up call: there is only One judgement day.
meaning, God is not even judging at this very moment...not one bit. not until the big day.

so who are we to judge?! when even our own Loving judge isn't even in business yet.
he's in redemption mode, as kris vallotton states...longing to see his beloved sons and daughters home again. and here we are, fighting against each other on whether or not we should befriend the homosexuals, if we should hangout with drug addicts, and if it is right for a christian to be seen in bars or nightclubs.

http://digitalgrace.deviantart.com/art/Tool-Belt-27990972
an image - food for thought. read the caption.

i think it's time to re-check ourselves. something paul kept telling us to do.
"evaluate yourself." - yes, sir.

the biggest problem is not the prostitute or the man with the tattoos and piercings - it's me - and until i deal with it, it will keep being me.
i'm terribly sorry if i caused you pain for having judged you. or simply, to have placed a wrong label in my head about you.
and i apologize for anyone claiming to be like Jesus and has judged you.

i really am sorry.
Jesus never judged. he's not to blame.
we are.

i love you. i love you and i love you. and that is what i am meant to do. to be. a lover. created for love and to love. representing my beautiful and full-of-love God.

this is my thought for today - of course, i will be posting more.
this must be talked about - and i'm ready to expose whatever must be put in the light.

i love you.
- melody.

Monday, July 20, 2009

it's 8 pm and the sun is shining.

And summer is sweet.

it's a good time for a break - even in blogging. ha!
i feel like writing in a choppy way today. so i will.

so updates on this season:

- i'm going to probably become a professional model for a while in september. just to bring the kingdom in the industry. ;)

- i found a polaroid camera in my garage. i just need film.

- i just fell in love with Bethel in Redding, California all over again. (www.ibethel.org)
along with healing people, and bringing the kingdom in the most unexpected places. (disneyland?) yeah look it up. "healing revival in Disneyland" on youtube.

- i'm going to camp freshwind - as LIT. super sweetness!

- i miss my best friend. but she's blasting and being blasted by the Holy Spirit. so it's all good.

- "the kingdom is not of talk, but of power." LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH.

- bring it on, august. vacation time soon!

- i love you all.

melody.

Monday, June 22, 2009

how do i talk about 5 different events in one post?

Yeah. good question.
i really should go on here more often. then, i won't need to put over 5 events in one post.

let me start with a hello! - "hello!" - and with the date - june 22, 2009.
it is around 8:17 pm with rays of sun still in view.

where do i begin? hm.
WELL. i'll go backwards...why not!
2 days ago marked a beautiful night - a switchfoot concert. and even though it was my 3rd, every one of them takes me to a new level. every show is special and memorable.
in a world where the "real" is hard to find, music created by jon foreman and the band is quite a treasure. it is quite rare to be exposed to raw and honest lyrics these days, and even harder to feel true love in them. i don't have to say God's name for you to know that true love can only be expressed through him. - and "Godly" music these days? quite invisible.
i want to hear music from the heart, music from life itself.

so, thank you switchfoot for being just that. true, honest, real, true-love-filled music.




apart from beautiful nights, i have adventured myself deeper within God's arms.
re-encounter happened. instead of prom.
and that, my friends, was definitely a journey into the deep seas of his intimate mysteries.
you know, it's okay to feel or be uncomfortable in a room filled with the 'unknown'.
and by that, i mean, it's okay to be challenged inside.
the weekend was all about bringing an end to past ties, healing wounds and broken hearts, and breaking off any last bits and pieces of the devil's fingers on me.

...and that's exactly what i mean. it's okay to be uncomfortable at the word 'healing' or 'broken'...or just plain 'devil'. i mean, let's just go there.
truth doesn't mix in with opinion; it overcomes it.
so whether there are truths you want to hear or not, accepting it WILL lead you to freedom.
for, "the truth will set you free."
overall, the weekend reminded me of just how intimate God wants us to be with him.
we were created for intimacy.
and intimacy is what i came here for.

the last big event in my life...happening just about now...is my graduation.

how funny to say "i'm done with high school!" - and yet, it was just a temporary stop for a basic education and a place to meet new friends.

learning definitely doesn't stop there. and life certainly doesn't begin after it.
life is always in us. - but being alive is the choice.

so yeah, i'm done with high school. but the same goes when ending elementary or middle school, there's always a greater stop ahead.
so whether i end up going to university, work, the States, or simply the house, i'm taking the same with me: my home.

and my home is where my Daddy is: in me. (thanks Holy Spirit :] for always being with me.)
anywhere i go, is a new opportunity to be who i'm meant to be.
daughter of a King.
Lover.
awake.
Light.
healer.
follower.

there's a certain advantage in knowing who you really are...there's no fear, doubt, or confusion about where you're meant to be and what you're meant to do.

so, my "Jerusalem", thanks for being with me - but we're not quite done.
"Ends of the earth"...i guess i'll see you sometime in the future.

it's summer. and i speak into being a beautiful and impactful one. in Jesus name :)
dear friends, you are truly meant to be royalty - living for Royalty - in love and with love.

we'll talk soon.
- melody.

ps. invisible children's Lobby Days - today and tomorrow - are making history.
Uganda, your children will soon be free.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Nineteen years of life.

I will keep this short.

as are my years.
they are short.

yet, i'm intended to live until 120.
it's a promise; not a hope.
...for all of us.

today, i remember the many times i cried out. the many times i laughed.
the many goodbyes i had to announce. the many crushes i put my heart through.
the many names i memorized. the many faces i've photographed into my mind.
today, i celebrate life. i celebrate 19 years of me - on earth.

life is not limited to here. i (and you) am a citizen of Heaven.
and i just happen to be here on vacation.
so, i guess all i can say now is...keep me here longer.

i'm looking forward to rocking your world, while you rock mine.

honestly, thank you everyone who has touched my life in any sort of way.
you are deeply beautiful, powerful, and worthy of bigger than this world.
i truly love you with all my heart.
friends, thank you. thank you. thank you.

- melody.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

i'm alive - but i'm actually a walking dead man.

Ressurect me.

It takes a long time to kill a man
Fifty-five years at least
Until he breaks down
Starts to look underground
To go off and get him some peace
I want to die a lot quicker than that
If it's my only way out
I've been counting up the costs
Getting up on that cross
I want to know what this all about
Father Time steals our days
Like a thief
There's no price that I wouldn't pay
To get some relief
I've become an empty shell
Of a man I don't like so well
I am a living, breathing hell,
Come on and resurrect me
I tried to drown the pain with a friend of mine
It didn't seem to help
Ah she's got a pretty face
With her wedding lace
But I'm still waking up with myself
I know what it means to choke it down
Up, down till your legs get weak
I know what it's like on a Saturday night
To be alone on a crowded street
Father Time steals our days
Like a thief
There's no price that I haven't paid
To get some relief
I've become a shell of a man
I can't begin to even understand
Have I forgotten who I am?
Come on and resurrect me
Resurrect me
Come on and resurrect me
- Jon Foreman

Sunday, April 26, 2009

my life these past few weeks, let alone days.

Like, a few days left of april? is that even possible?
this month has passed by too fast.

i never know what to say about 'months'.
"oh, good month" just sounds too cliche.

i suppose labeling this month as "super-natural" is accurate.
it was really 'beyond the normal'!

Freshwind '09: check.
starting fresh with my Daddy in heaven: check.
The Rescue, Toronto: check.

ahhh...the rescue.
last night was just so moving.
100 cities, 10 countries, 1 movement.
Invisible Children's THE RESCUE.
thousands around the world gathered yesterday - April 25th, 2009 - to stand against one of the longest running wars in africa, to bring to the light the LRA (Joseph Kony's army), and to prove to the world that the 90% who are abducted child soldiers are people too whom we care for, love, and want to see rescued.

thousands around the world chose to 'abduct' themselves for the night until they were 'rescued'.
media and an influential leader is needed in order to be rescued.

Toronto was one of those cities; at Queen's Park.
under the rain and thunderstorms, hundreds showed their support for a greater cause than ourselves.
it was truly amazing and humbling to know that young and old stand as one to bring change to a continent so distant and unknown.

children, stay strong, for soon, you will be back home!

(currently, there are still 12 cities to be rescued - STAY STRONG.)

i am so excited to see where this movement will lead, for this is just the beginning.
thank you invisible children, for caring.

God - you are really all for justice. and it can only be a shame to ourselves for not taking part
against what breaks your heart.

on a side note - switchfoot is in town june 20th! see you guys there. :)
also, i will be turning the big 1 9 in a week! quite the big step.
and i am currently working on a small freshwind video, as well as the next youtube video blog.

well that is all for tonight, it is late and i am to rest :)
love to all.

- melody.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

can i remind you Satan that You. Are. Finished!

It is april 12, 2009, and happy Easter to you all.
i realize it is 10:44ish (pm) and i am quite tired...as i have been spending these past 3 days jumping, dancing, screaming, sitting, praying, ministering, and just being blasted by the Holy Spirit at freshwind 2009.
it was pretty much the best conference i have yet been to.

phenomenal, actually.

i believe we are called to be a generation that stands out. a generation that will be BOLD in Jesus' name. a youth that will hold nothing back. a people who will destroy satan's lies like never before. a generation that will blast the kingdom of God righ onto this earth - immensily.

i believe in this generation. i declare it is one of life. of hope. of revival.
i don't think God was mistaken when he said that the righteous are bold as lions; in fact, He couldn't be any more right.

and it's time to show down under who is boss around here
.

Jesus did it all on the cross. he conquered depression, sickness, poverty, injustice, disease, impurity, and even DEATH. he conquered. he won. we won.

"It is finished."

his last words. and perhaps the most powerful words ever spoken on the face of this planet.
at that moment, all of Satan's grip on us was taken away, and Jesus took back the keys to life. TO LIFE!
at that very moment, every disease, cancer, suicidal thought/attempt, addiction, ANY struggle we can ever think of melted away at Jesus' words. it is finished.

at that moment, we were all freed. and made alive.
(FRESHWIND MOMENTS)

freshwind band!

there is beauty and power in worship.

lovely kim walker :) she is amazing.

cleetus adrian - intense message! so good.

painting during worship - amazing!

prayer wall testimony - incredible powerful.

i am so excited to see where God will lead me - and this generation.
join in the movement. the movement of God.

see you soon. ;)

- melody.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

March - filled with power.


Hola mi amigos! i am sitting on the floor, half comfortable - half totally not.
so, it is march 31, 2009. that is right. the last day of march. the last day of what used to be a new month.
what a month! MAN. God is so good. he brought me here, victorious. as i was yesterday, and will be tomorrow, and for always (that kind-a means forever.)

this month has taught me how to be powerful. and by that i mean, powerful with God. what's a human without God? i ask myself...

PRAYER. yes, i have been smacked in the face by sermons talking about it. and i love it! i am quickly learning what prayer is, how powerful it is, and how to pray in the most useful way!
- beautiful.

honestly, i've been seeing how flipping REAL Satan is. he is really out to get us, destroying, killing, all that jazz - only because he knows who we truly are. he knows we are warriors, Sons and Daughters of the King, and as my best friend puts it, he's doing his best to push us away from that truth. and all he is are lies, therefore he WORKS in lies.
tsk, tsk, tsk.
so, this is why he is someone to take seriously. we need to remind him he's lost, and we've won. HA! because we have. KILL HIM, again and again and again and again...there's no harm to that one ;)

anyways, it is 9:09 pm. tuesday. tomorrow is mom's birthday. i love her, truly. she is amazing. (if you ever read this, maman...know that you are the best!)

in 8 sleeps: FRESHWIND 2009! so flipping excited. ministry team + painting = HOLY SPIRIT FILLED WEEKEND. fo sho! (
www.tacf.org/fw)

april 25: THE RESCUE. come out in toronto to abduct yourselves for the children abducted in uganda forced to kill. show that toronto cares. show that rescue is possible. (
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/)

i also have started youtube videos (HA, i know)...i will update soon :)
www.youtube.com/user/melodytheradical

on a last note, you are strong. beautiful. loved. and full of hope :)
love,
- melody.

Monday, March 2, 2009

My heart is yours.

Well. it has been almost a month since we last talked.
crazy, eh?
time is a beautiful thing, just too quick to appreciate it. ha!
(yet, it never leaves...hmm)

anyways, i'm going too far in thought.

february has definitely been an interesting month. it was a combination of changes, new revelations, un-noticed love, breakthroughs, new music, patience, ...and more patience.
it's just been a good month, overall. i can't say it was un-eventful.
the discovery of kris vallotton, bill johnson, and derek schneider's sermons have not stopped blowing my mind each time. they are definitely up there, on my top people's list (if i had one...)

they've just been so good. so good. so good.

also, february marked the month revival week chose to step out and into new schools. i'm quite excited for this. new opportunities for the message of hope and love to spread out? FO SHO, my friends.

exciting times, i must say.

on a more personal note, february has definitely taught me (and still is) that patience is one of the most important pieces of love.
i have recently learned that my few bits and pieces of my heart were in my hands, rather than the perfect one, Daddy's. it was like, feelings i held in for certain people were only to be touched by me, and me only.
what i didn't know, is that those pieces were the very ones God's been poking me to give him.
because, you see, those are the pieces of my heart he''s looking to perfect. to polish up. to clean up and prepare for that one person i'm waiting for.
and if they're not in his hands, there is no way he can take care of me, fully.

i've given those pieces to him last night.
and yes, i want him to fully engage with me, and my heart. i want him to fully take control of all that is boggling my mind. all the thoughts, memories, dreams, songs that bring me to that place of wonders, i give to him.
it's just...i guess this only makes sense to me, but when you think about a certain person for too long, you get into the 'what ifs' and 'i doubt...' and 'i fear...'. that's when you take control.
and for me, i mess up when in control.
so, i chose to give that area of my life completely to him. to let my Daddy take care of my worries, fears, and doubts...so he can wash those up and replace them with faith, confidence, and patience.

i must say, when you miss someone, it's not easy.
but when you're fully engulfed in God's arms, there is no space for worry anymore.
it's perfect peace.
and whatever promise God's got for me, i will hold on to.
"I've gotcha, love."
he says.

so tonight, it's still march 2. and to say the least, i'm excited for what's to come.
(freshwind, in a month!)

i do love you all. whoever you may be.
leave a comment, or two. i'd love to hear from you.

be strong.
-melody.

ps. iceland makes wonderful music.
Parachutes and Sigur Ros, i recommend.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Home.

I've been looking for it these past few days, actually.

home, to alot of us, is a mystery. 
but the fact remains: it's a beautiful one. now you may be wondering, how Earth can be named a 'beautiful home' in the midst of its brokeness and pain. 
well, to me (and i'm sure many of you as well), i don't consider this my home (and never would want to, in that matter). i mean, this is just a temporary "hotel". it just happens to be that my home is in a way, way, WAY better place!
yes, indeed, it is Heaven. 

how SO EXTRAORDINARY to be able to call Heaven OUR home. it isn't just my home, but yours as well. 

and when you think about it, home is where you gain your comfort, strength, encouragement, and peace. (now, home is different than house...so not actually referring to the 'house')
it is where we take our refuge. it is where we find the most joy.

so, not only is our home in heaven full of that, it's PERFECT....and accessible. 

and the perfect father waits for us...at any second of our lives.

and what i have been feeling these past few days/week or so, is just this amazing love from our Daddy. he's like, the perfect comforter and Lover. 
and i've just been sinking in his arms and love.

it's just a beautiful thing. a beautiful home.

...well i'm pretty tired tonight, so i'm gonna end with this:
"i'm His house, and He's always home." - Kris Vallotton

- melody. :)

ps. happy birthday to my sister, she's the best. and she's 17. ha!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

PS.

i've discovered this brilliant new band: Mates of State.

and this video will make you smile. 
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=kdoYK9jOltQ

:)

Monday, January 26, 2009

What good in worshipping a God you know everything about?

...Where's the mystery in that?

i'm currently reading 'The Shack' and i must say, it is so so brilliant/challenging/amazing/enlightening/comforting...pretty much a must-read. and i'm only on chapter 7. HA.
i believe it's for both un-believers and believers. it answers the most common questions the world asks God, "where are you in the pain?". and it reminds believers that religion was broken down by Jesus, yes, i said BROKEN DOWN. 

i've been going through quite a battle these days, of course always in the mind, not in the heart. 
the thoughts of "where are you God?"and "why can't i feel you near?" keep attacking me, and i say 'attacking' because these questions are not naturally from myself. no, rather, they are from another source; one that is not in favour of us. actually, one that is looking to devour us, eat us up in million pieces, destroy us. one that hates us. and this one, you see, wants us apart from the Unconditional Lover; from our very own Daddy. 
but, what i am discovering, is that once again, this Hater is not creative. this isn't the first time i've thought these things in my mind. and the crazy thing is, they're not even true!
they're filthy lies. lies. lies. lies!
note to anyone in need of this: DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MIND. HE'S A LIAR. YOUR DADDY IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. RIGHT NOW. HE'S HOLDING YOUR HAND. FOREVER HE HAS. 

so, God has reminded me last night, that he's actually always with me. holding my hand. carrying me when i can't walk anymore. and those lies in my mind are just clouds trying to distract me from him. they're trying to
fool me. when really, our Daddy is right here. in front of us. in front of me. 

photo by Gabriela Hansen


i think there is such a beauty in holding on to a hand we cannot see but we know is there. i can just imagine how happy that makes him! ahhh, he's smiling RIGHT NOW :) a smile so beautiful...so peaceful and loving...

reach out to Your Daddy...he's been waiting for you... :)

- melody.

ps. Daddy, i thank You and love You
.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I'm not who i was.

Say what?
oh! yeah. i'm not who i was. 
meaning, the person i was a few days ago, is old and dead. i'm now renewed and reborn. 
and i can officially say i'm free. 100% free. 
personally, i think that's pretty darn amazing. a few months ago, i never imagined myself saying that. i give ALL thanksgiving and honor to JESUS, the one and only amazing rescuer, who agreed to bear ALL my shame and disgust so that today, i could say 'i. am. free.'

i look back on my life and my journey through pain and shame, coming out free. and i am just in awe of the way God can take such a filthy person like me, full of junk and brokeness, and make something beautiful out of it. a masterpiece, really.
and this is who God is to me. an artist. a designer. someone who knows perfectly what to do to make you beautiful. 

what a journey it has been. and the best part, is it's not over. it actually has JUST begun. ;)

- melody.

Monday, January 5, 2009

You are a New creation.

IT'S 2009! AH.

it's just amazing to see how a year can bring so much change. especially its last 2 months.
for me, november and december were definitely life changing months. i was taken into this journey with God that i never imagined taking and i am experiencing his love in such a beautiful and extravagent way! i just want to share with y'all the highlights of the past year, as it was days ago that we were still in 2008.

- a new year's spent with the family in switzerland
- freshwind 2008, beginning of a shift in me.
- 18th birthday in rochester, ny - SWITCHFOOT.
- WARPED TOUR with twloha, sweet experience!
- entering 12th grade. - HA!
- REVIVAL WEEK '08, birth of conversations.
- encounter in novemeber, an absolute life-changing experience - i encountered His love like never before and experienced healing and freedom!
- heavy rain!, dec. 29th-31st, i am the Daughter of God - open me up to Your world of the Holy Spirit.

this IS my redemption story.

God's love is so so so huge, it's infinite! there's no end to it...no end at all.
it overflows. it goes beyond, always. always. always. and forever.

2009: i will live out my true identity - i will live out as a true Princess of the high King. i will desire more and more of this absolute love. i will fight this divine war against the lies of a true Liar. i will live in the supernatural, asking for His Kingdom to come, on earth as it is in Heaven.

this song is truly changing my world; it's beautiful, real, and a total truth of God's love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3ZK5jHYuoU

i love you all. and God's love is never ending, so keep asking for more. and happy new year's!
-melody :)